Lifestyle: A Look into the Romantic Escapades of Vladimir and Donald
Paris, France

Everyone’s favorite white house couple, Vladimir and Donald, announced last weekend they were off to a romantic vacation in Paris to commemorate a successful election season. “It’s a break I’ve really been needing,” Trump informed sources, gently snuggling into Putin’ shoulder as he did so, and occasionally stealing a kiss. “His company always lightens my heart.” Vladimir was relatively silent, but Donald assured reporters he was simply a “quiet boy.” “Shy boys have always been my type,” he joked before boarding the plane. The Assorted Veggie tracked their vacation -- the two visited a variety of luxurious bars, and of course toured the Louvre and the Eiffel tower. Every night involved working themselves through a barrage of media for a bit of alone time, but that didn't fend the reporters off for more than a day. Donald spoke to reporters nearly every morning, red faced. “He always gets me to open up about myself. So many secrets between us. It's wonderful.” He kissed him on the forehead, and Putin smiled eerily. "Yes," he said, "wonderful."