Anthony Weiner laments his unfortunate name

Brooklyn

As of May 19th, 2017, Anthony Weiner pleaded guilty to charges against him involving sexting, child pornography, and overall pedophilia. In his tearful, moving confirmation of his guilt, Weiner claimed to be “predisposed to this terrible illness” due to his “unfortunate name.” “My parents could have named me anything,” Anthony sobbed in court, “I could have been Anthony Brown, or Anthony Spellings, or Anthony Ryan, I could have been Anthony anything!” The court made certain to take into consideration the man’s unfortunate circumstance and the fact he was a white straight cisgender male before casting their decision -- a couple warnings and a bit of jail time. As a sector of the liberal media, we apologize in advance for posting this report, and will remember to refrain in the future.